Thoughts from a Buddhist in retreat

Not sure how to link to it any other way, but please check out Phil Battos' blog at http://philbattos.blogspot.com/ - good food for thought and meditation!

More changes

My father-in-law is in hospice, and will not live much longer. It seems death has dogged me and my family in the last decade. My wife moved him here from Boston recently after he took a fall there, and his health declined rapidly over the holidays. It is tough practice, but one that Buddhist practice looks upon as a tremendous opportunity. In the death-denying Western society, it's tough however. It's very tough not to avoid and fear, and I've had many weak moments. Yet even during the experience, I can feel a richness and closeness to others, not normally experienced in day-to-day life. It induces compassion in me for others, like nothing else.

Merry Kwanzaa etc.!

Angry comedy

Maybe because I'm pissed off and in a dark mood, but I've recently discovered an artist who speaks to my soul - the late Bill Hicks. Never before had I heard of him...not surprisingly, 'cause the guy rants against the man. See http://www.billhicks.com/index.html for more info.

Just a teaser here:

"Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag."

"Really? I bought mine. Yeah, they sell them at K-Mart and shit."

"He died in the Korean War."

"Wow, what a coincidence. Mine was made in Korea."

No one – and I repeat, no one – has ever died for a flag. See, a flag … is just a piece of cloth. They may have died for freedom, which is also the freedom to burn the fucking flag, see. That's freedom.

OK, one more:

"Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To hear what it's all about, perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once? Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed through a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."

Thanks Bill, whereever you are!

Holy dogshit, batman.
It's been a long year. I lost my dad in October 2005 and the last thing I wanted to do was blog. As Robert Bly once said, in many respects one doesn't fully enter one's manhood until one's dad dies. Well, manhood ain't been much fun so far.

But, never have I been in touch with my mortality so much. So much so, it has me on the edge of depression. But it's also allowed me to take some risks that I might not have otherwise. Like starting my own biz.

More later,
Your Druidia

Dealing with Fear

So the obvious followup question is: How best to reduce fear? One of the biggest fears is, of course, death. We (should) all know that we will die, but so many avoid the thought. Why? I suppose because we think statically, that what is existent today will extend indefinitely into the future. We are shocked though at how quickly time passes (particularly when we're older) and our bodies change accordingly. This is recognition of mortality. But our shock is really proportional to our (static) expectations, no? How do these expectations arise? Are they learned, or are they somehow innate? If we take a cue from animals, who apparently have little inclination for planning beyond the immediate (there are a few exceptions, I suppose, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter), I think the answer is that expectations are mainly learned. So how do we unlearn or, better yet, never learn them in the first place? So many questions, so few answers...

The politics of fear

In reflection on the state of this country, I am amazed how much fear motivates people. Fear of terrorism, fear of changing social mores, fear of...any change. Fear leads one to violence, to protect oneself from the (perceived) source of the fear. This is why the USA has the largest and most powerful military in the world, by far. How odd, however that over ten times as many people are killed on the highways EACH year than all the victims of terrorism in this country. But we don't stop driving our cars. The media obviously contributes greatly to this fear, since we now now almost instantaneously about a major events, even on the other side of the globe. And "if it bleeds, it leads" is the watchword. Because violence draws more viewers and it allows the networks to sell more soap, widgets, etc. But ultimately to blame are the people who tune in and think these events are a threat to happen in their back yards. There is little discrimination in the minds of these people about the likelihood of threats to their well-being. Fear and intelligence seem to be inversely correlated. So the immediate question is - how do we reduce fear?

Moods and beauty

Ah, the second step. Feeling better today; sometimes Mondays are hell. I wish I enjoyed my work more, but with this mid-life malaise, it can be tough to do so. It's cold with light snow. Speaking of snow I found this link that shows the magical beauty of snow crystals. It brightened my morning. We are so oblivious to these little miracles.

The longest journey

Begins with the first step, as represented here. Here you will find forays deep into the recesses of my nearly 48 year old mind, through a stream of consciousness that is sometimes in flood, other times in ebb, but rarely dammed. Today I'm feeling rebellious. So much of what I felt comfortable with in my youth has been obliterated by the cynicism that grows ever daily regarding the human condition. Have we really progressed since the 1960s of my youth? Maybe yes, maybe no. Depends on who you ask, and how.