Friday, February 11, 2005
Dealing with Fear
So the obvious followup question is: How best to reduce fear? One of the biggest fears is, of course, death. We (should) all know that we will die, but so many avoid the thought. Why? I suppose because we think statically, that what is existent today will extend indefinitely into the future. We are shocked though at how quickly time passes (particularly when we're older) and our bodies change accordingly. This is recognition of mortality. But our shock is really proportional to our (static) expectations, no? How do these expectations arise? Are they learned, or are they somehow innate? If we take a cue from animals, who apparently have little inclination for planning beyond the immediate (there are a few exceptions, I suppose, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter), I think the answer is that expectations are mainly learned. So how do we unlearn or, better yet, never learn them in the first place? So many questions, so few answers...
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2 comments:
It is interesting. REading this I asked myself if I fear death. I think I do not fear death for itself. Two years ago I lived a week with the possibility of having a deadly cancer. it turned out to be a wrong diagnosis, but for a week I was confronted with the idea that I might not die some distant time in the future, in ten, twenty, fourty years, but maybe in a few months. At first my hair was standing, but then I realized: It is okay! I have seen a lot, experienced a lot - much more than most people can imagine. I am an Astronomer and know that in the big scheme of things there is hardly a difference between 35 or 70 years. So I thought: why not. Then it is over. Had to happen some time anyway.
Now it is different. Now I have my baby daughter here, and I would HATE to miss her growing up and to not be able to give her a helping hand... Also with fear of terror, war and violence. I always think: I myself can cope. And if not - so what. But my perspective really changed since little Sophie Maris entered the scene.
Anyway - it is true that in our (Western) culture our mortality is not really a topic. It is curious how one can be motivated to aspire for ever more power and wealth in spite of ones impermanence.
Seeker,
Yours is an interesting perspective, one that has changed with your daughter's appearance. Why do you think so? Is it really within you, for her? Or is is something within you? Who is "you," apart from "her"?
Not having any children, I would have a hard time seeing your new way of seeing. But that of course does not make it invalid for you. Relationship is intrinsic to how we see things.
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